“They say time heals all wounds, but that presumes the source of the grief is finite” ― Cassandra Clare
Someone said to me recently – “Time heals all wounds and it is coming up on two years so I’m sure you are feeling like your old self again. You know,” she continued, “feeling better.”
And I did feel better.
Right after I slapped her.
I didn’t really slap her.
But the vision did flash through my mind as I wondered if people really think you can feel better – ever – after burying a child?
And I wondered if there would ever come a day in this life when I wouldnt shed a tear?
My days are not spent sitting in a corner crying for hours on end – although there are times when I have to admit that does still feel like a good option.
But smells, sounds, thoughts or even ordinary things like unloading the dishwasher or folding clothes can bring tears out of nowhere.
Sometimes one or two. Sometimes a bucket full.
Because the missing isn’t erased by the space of time and grief cannot be put away on a shelf. Grief is ugly. Grief is beautiful. Grief is confusing.
Grief is at best, managed.
Sometimes graciously. Sometimes poorly.
Grief is not an outfit. Grief is a permanent accessory.
Grief is lived…
And I am convinced that grief does not change you.
Grief reveals you.
And grief reveals others to you.
And time cannot possibly make me “feel better.”
Only God can.
“His is a joy which consequences cannot quench. His is a peace which circumstances cannot steal.” – Max Lucado
May you seek HIS joy in the moment – no matter what today brings.
And remember today is only temporary…
“There is a spot, mid barren hills,
Where winter howls, and driving rain;
But if the dreary tempest chills,
There is a light that warms again.”
– Emily Jane Brontë
(And if you run into someone who has lost a loved one, please do them and yourself a favor and think carefully before you speak. Open mouths are dangerous and grief is very unpredictable. You never know when a slap just might slip out.)