Falling Forward…

Our Zack playing ice hockey...

Found rollerblades generate big smiles.

A little brother is excited to find them.

Hidden under piles of a big brother’s hockey gear.

Memories of an older brother playing hard. Vivid pictures fill my mind…

Nick’s happy heart makes me smile.

It feels good to smile.

A little brother pulls out protective hockey gear. Armor…

“Put on the whole armor of God…”

Each item is touched with excitement and enthusiasm as he rushes to try it on.  

Protective gear.

To protect a brother from hurt. To keep him safe from falling.

Can we ever be safe from hurting when we fall?

A little boy is eager to learn something new. A little boy who doesn’t worry about falling.

A Daddy encourages.  “Lean forward so when you fall you will fall forward!”

A Mommy worries. About falling.

Falling in a driveway where an older brother fell and ruptured a cancerous tumor.

A driveway where our lives fell apart…

A driveway where life bound us tightly together…

A driveway where we discovered tenderness, beauty and grace.


A Daddy sees the plan. He sees a little boy learning to rollerblade. A Daddy watches a little boy falling and catches him.

Sometimes he lets him fall…He says “you need to learn how to fall so you can learn how to get back up.”

Learning from falling?

The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. ~ Nelson Mandela


A little boy feels safe. In his armor. In his Daddy’s arms.

 A Daddy cheers for a little boy determined.

A Mommy watches and learns from her little boy.

A little boy who motivates a Mommy to do the things she thinks she cannot do.

A little boy who misses his brother.

A little boy who asks lots of questions.

A little boy who trusts when there are no answers.

A little boy who prays daily for his older brother…prays that Zack is having a good time in heaven playing with his friend Wright.

A little boy who puts on his armor fearlessly.

A little boy who trusts that his Daddy will be there when he falls.

A little boy who gets back up when he falls….no matter how many times.

A little boy who enjoys the moment.

Day by day, moment by moment, I am learning how to get back up from my fall.

From our fall.

And daily, I put on the armor of God.

My protective gear.

 And though sometimes I still fall back down, I’m forever falling forward.

Into the grace of HIS arms…

Your worst days are never so bad that you are beyond the reach of God’s grace. And your best days are never so good that you are beyond the need of God’s grace. – Jerry Bridges

Zack (age 10) and Nick (age 4)...Zack had dressed Nick in his protective hockey gear...

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19 thoughts on “Falling Forward…

  1. A message to keep and remember to get back up and fall forward. Thank you for sharing your feelings and insprations. You truly bless your readers with each new post.

  2. Wendy – I love reading your posts and pray for you and your family daily. By reading about your struggles and your strength and faith through the struggles, I am learning to “fall forward”. You have truly made a spiritual, faithful, wonderful impact on my life and the life of my two sons. They pray for Zack as if they knew him – love and empathy for someone they don’t know, but that they learned through your faith and honest postings. Today I pray that you find peace and God’s love in “falling forward”. Thank you for continuing to share your family’s story.

  3. So glad that Nick can help you replace bad memories of a driveway with fun times in a driveway. I can only imagine how tough it is on you, Wendy, a mother that will always have a hole in your heart. But you know where your Strength comes from, and you will go forward with your precious son, Nick, who will help your heart heal, as he also heals. Somewhere there is a mother that is reading your blog, and she is finding comfort from your words. God is using you to help others. Romans 8:28

  4. Wendy, as usual you have touched my heart! Your words always seem to bring tears of sadness, tears of joy and tears of hope to my eyes!! I love reading everything you post. You have been and will continue to be a very big inspiration on alot of people, including myself! I lookd forward to the day that I get to hold in my hands a book that has been written by you!! God Bless you, Mayo and Nick!!


  5. It hardly seems possible that each new post could be any better than the last, but then it is. Maybe it’s because each post stirs thoughts and emotions that need stirring. Your beautiful words remind us to not take everyday events for granted, but also that God is with us at every moment, at every turn, when we fall, and when we soar. There is no greater blessing.
    Thank you, Wendy, for sharing these tender moments.

  6. So beautiful Wendy. We all fall and He picks us up again and again. So thankful for u and your encouraging words to all of us. Blessings. Continue being strong in Him.

  7. Oh, Wendy. You are so amazing. Your writing really brings it all home. I love the pictures of Nick and Ernie. I love the words from you. I am thinking of you all as this spring passes by… the first ones without the ones we love and gave up everything to fight for are the worst. I love you guys.

  8. Oh, Wendy… how I love your words. And the pictures – oh so amazing. Nick is amazing. You are amazing. Ernie is amazing. I think of you guys often during this spring – it’s always difficult reliving the last season you had together with your loved one. ANYTHING – smells, rituals, empty chairs, etc can trigger so many emotions. I hope you continue writing. I read every time whether I comment or not. I love you guys.

  9. Oh, it’s nurse Melissa. I think it’s says “Nurse Meli”, but you know… that might be confusing, I don’t know. All I know is that, the last time I saw you guys, you were eating PF Changs out by the elevators and, as I was leaving to go home, you invited me to sit down and eat with you. I wish now I had said yes. It was the last time I would see you and it was less than a week before Zack died. But, it’s okay. I still miss you all though… but, I am happy Zack is no longer suffering.

  10. Go Nick Go!!!!! You are in such great hands with your terrific parents and I know that Zack is watching and yelling the same thing….GO NICK GO!!!!! It is such a joy for me to read your posts and know that the three of you are finding joy in every day. You are inspirational to so many people!
    Have a great week full of God’s peace!
    Shelli Horger

  11. Thank you for sharing your hurts, your heart and your healing with us Wendy. Your posts are ALWAYS beautiful, inspiriational and heartfelt. God bless you and keep you and may His face shine upon you, and Nick, and Ernie :-)
    Caryn C

  12. Dear Wendy,
    I have been away from God for a long time. Maybe that’s why I am unwilling to accept that your immeasurable suffering could be justified by inspiring others. However, I believe, as you wrote, that there are reasons we are not meant to understand. And I can read that you, more than believing, actually KNOW this to be true. I also believe that you embody everything that is great about humanity. Your resiliency, fearlessness, honesty, and real grace make me want to be closer to God by being a better person. What a thing it must be for your son to have your faithful and hopeful spirit infused in him! I don’t need to have your faith to see that he will carry that greatness- yours, your husband’s, and Zack’s, into future generations. Thank you.

  13. Came upon your blog tonight. Very much touched. Many a feeling, but not sure of what words. Simply praying for His continual, perfect comfort. May His embrace hold you so near. Love from a fellow sister